My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
Randomize
