If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
