She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize
