I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
