i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
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