on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
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