Having a random hookup so left but love u
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Randomize
