with your own penis?
hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
