It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
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