I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize
