the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
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