I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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