so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
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