paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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