He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
