So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
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