I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
Randomize
