OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
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