All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Randomize
