You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
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