I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Randomize
