Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize
