he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
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