Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
