I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
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i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
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dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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