She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
