are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
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