I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Randomize
