I feel like I'm in dance class right now
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
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