i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Randomize
