is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
Randomize
