Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
