i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
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