What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
