sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Randomize
