ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
Randomize
