Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
Randomize