is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
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