I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
Randomize
