See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
being pregnant is like rehab
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
