Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Randomize
