Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
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