whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
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