Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
She bit a glass in half.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
God, I missed his penis.
Randomize
