i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
