oh god the rape fog is back!
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Randomize
