i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Randomize
