we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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