she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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