apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
