My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
