And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
