booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
barbara walters just said penis...
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
Randomize