I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
