so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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