I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
