hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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