Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
Randomize
