Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
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