i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
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