fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
Randomize
