I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
they're like a gay fantastic four
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
Randomize
