Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
He felt like a one man threesome
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
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